Are you frustrated because you are not reaching your riding goals fast enough? Are you angry and disappointed when you have had a "bad" lesson? Are you discouraged because riding is not as easy as you thought it would be? Do you envy other riders who are progressing faster than you are?
If you answered "yes" to any or all of these questions, you are probably experiencing the effects of unrealistic expectations--a faulty assessment of your riding ability and/or misconceptions about the sport itself. If you have an idealized or romanticized image of horses and riding, you may have set goals based on these illusions--goals that are impossible to reach. Whether your riding goal is to have fun, to compete, or to master the art of horsemanship, unrealistic expectations can hinder your success as a rider.
Fiction vs. Reality
If you have never ridden a horse, your information about the sport probably comes from the media--movies, books, and sports coverage of equestrian events. Without actual riding experience, it is easy to be swept away by the romantic picture the media presents of the horse, horse ownership and equestrian competitions. There is no doubt that horses are wildly romantic creatures and that special relationships and great accomplishments can be achieved with them, but you must be able to separate the inspiration from the fiction.
If you were inspired to take up riding for these reasons, you have probably realized by now that riding is not as easy as it appears. If you rode as a child and are returning as an adult, you may find that it doesn't quite come as easily as it did back then. If you have a bit of experience riding rented horses on the trail, you will probably be very surprised by how much there is to learn about riding well. Even if you are a naturally talented rider when you start taking lessons, you will not be able to produce a piaffe, jump a Grand Prix course, or compete in an advanced level Three-Day Event after only a few months of lessons! Remember, top equestrian athletes, like all great athletes, make their sport look easy. But don't be fooled--that ease is the product of many years (and often a lifetime) of hard work, sacrifice, discipline and dedication. No matter how talented you are, learning to ride takes time!
When Can I . . . ?
Okay, so how do you know if you are harboring unrealistic expectations? One of the first tale-tell signs is impatience. If you constantly ask your instructor "when can I . . . ?" you probably have some misconceptions about how long it takes (and how critical it is) to d evelop the necessary basic skills. If you go too fast, too soon, you will probably get injured.
Although you may be genuinely excited about riding and have a passion to learn quickly and excel, you must temper your zeal. Otherwise, you will impose unattainable goals on yourself which may cause resentment, discouragement, and loss of self-esteem when you do not progress as quickly as your goals dictate.
The Truth About Riding
Riding a horse is not the same as learning to manipulate an inanimate object (like a tennis racket or a bicycle). You must work together with a living animal that has its own thoughts, feelings and physical limitations. You must develop new physical skills, such as balance and coordination on a moving object as well as new communication skills (the aids). This must be supplemented by a sound theoretical foundation--the basic principles of riding, how and why they work, and how to adapt them to each individual horse. Then you have to practice, practice, practice to refine your skills. You wouldn't expect to be a competent gymnast or martial artist after 10 lessons, would you? Yet, many students feel frustrated because they aren't jumping 4-foot fences after two months of lessons. It usually takes years (not weeks or months) to become an accomplished rider.
"Bad Lesson" Syndrome
Another sign of unrealistic expectations is feeling angry or indignant when you have had a "bad" lesson. "Bad" usually refers to a lesson in which you had a horse that did not instantly obey your every command. Having a difficult time with a horse may seem like a bad lesson, but it's really quite the contrary. That horse has taught you what you cannot do, and that is a valuable (albeit humbling) lesson.
If you are serious about becoming a good rider, take responsibility for your temporary physical inadequacy instead of blaming it on the horse. Just because you think you know the aids doesn't mean you have applied them correctly or have adapted them effectively to that horse. If the horse isn't obeying, you don't yet have the skill to accomplish that particular task. That's why you are taking lessons--to learn. Enjoy the process. Put your ego aside and patiently strive to correct the problem in your horse and in yourself. Anyone can look good on a push button horse, but learning to ride the difficult horses is the best way to achieve excellence. The truest sense of horsemanship is not looking beautiful on a perfect horse, but developing a partnership with a not-so-perfect horse and making it beautiful.
Realistic Self-Assessment
The best way to deal with unrealistic expectations is to take some time to assess your perceptions of riding and pinpoint the areas that are causing you frustration.
For example, your progress as a rider will depend on several conditions--your athletic ability, mental attitude and the amount of time and money you can devote to the sport. If you are overweight, out-of-shape, timid, or not athletically inclined, you will not progress as quickly as someone who is athletic, confident and fit. If you are not willing (or financially able) to ride more than once a week, you will not progress as rapidly as someone who takes lessons five days a week, or someone who rides three horses a day. That doesn't mean that you shouldn't learn to ride or that you won't excel, it just means that you have to assess your limitations realistically and adjust your goals accordingly. Here are some tips for getting unrealistic expectations under control:
- Develop a realistic view of the sport. Talk to your instructor or other horse professionals about their experiences. How long did in take them to learn to ride? What obstacles did they have to overcome?
- Become more literate and knowledgeable about riding. Read recommended books, watch videos, and attend lectures/seminars/clinics.
- Decide how much time, money and commitment you want to put into riding. Do you just want a relaxing hobby? Do you plan to own a horse, compete in amateur-owner shows, or pursue a professional career? Do some research to find out just what these different areas require. Make sure you have the money, time and talent to achieve your goals.
- Ride with an instructor as much as possible so you don't develop bad habits, which are harder to break than learning them right the first time. Remember, even Olympic riders have coaches on the ground.
- If possible, take both group and private lessons. Use the private lessons to work on specific problems you are encountering.
- List your physical, financial and personality assets and liabilities (equestrian sport psychology books can be helpful here). What are your strong and weak areas as a rider? For example: Are you overweight or unfit? Are you over-sensitive, shy or fearful? Are you teachable--can you take constructive criticism? Are you bold, confident and willing to take risks? Are you naturally coordinated and athletically inclined? Can you ride more than once a week?
- Once you have your list, talk with your instructor, or other knowledgeable horse people. Find out how to better utilize your strengths and how to solve the problem areas. Then define some incremental steps you can take to overcome your liabilities and strengthen your abilities in a reasonable period of time.
- Set realistic goals, keep a journal to track your progress, and reward yourself for little accomplishments.
The best advice, however, is to slow down, relax, think, and be patient with yourself (and your horse). Don't sacrifice a proper basic foundation for speedy results, and don't let ego or envy push you too far, too fast. Above all, develop an attitude of respect and compassion for your friend and partner, the horse. If you give him a chance and work with him, he will teach you how to ride in due time. |
